The Big Picture

So, I intended to write this blog with little things in mind. Daily things that keep me from getting work done. But then I started thinking about life and whatnot. So this blog turned out a little more heartfelt that I intended. But here it goes...

Life is full of distractions. Things that take your eyes off of the big picture. I'm not talking about the big picture of life, but the big picture according to you. If you're in high school, the big picture is graduating. In college, the big picture is.... also graduating. In a meaningful relationship, the big picture is, presumably, marriage. But the road to that big picture isn't a short one by any means. You have to go through many different obstacles on that road. Thats why its called a journey. And while on that journey, don't stop believing. (I apologize for that poor Journey joke.) But seriously, on that road are so many rest stops and detours you can take. And its alright to stop and look around every now and again, as long as you keep your eyes on the big picture.

My big picture is film school. If you know me than you know that filmmaking is my passion. I don't even have a fallback plan. Making films is my only plan because thats all I want to do with my life. But I've been somewhat distracted from that goal over the past few years. Yeah, years. I've been wanting to go to film school since I graduated high school. Before that, even. I know, I need to get on the ball. But I've coasted by on the bare mininum for so long, I'm not sure how to achieve my goal.

As long as I can remember, I've wanted to tell stories. I know this because I received a letter from my first grade teacher when I graduated stating that I loved to write stories even back when I was in first fucking grade. Then, growing up, I started to develope my short stories into longer stories and those longer stories into sort of novellas and those novellas eventually lead to screen stories. I could never really write stories onto paper very well. I'd always write Screen Play type stories. Then I developed an appreciation for film. It wasn't until 9th or 10th grade when I realized that I wanted to make movies.

Nothing has really come to fruition since then. I mean, I've done some little high school projects and I've made some silly videos with my friends, but thats about all I've done since the 10th grade. And it really hasn't affected me until now. I've been out of school for 2 years and I have no job and I am no closer to my "big picture" than I was when I was 16. I'm nearing my 20th birthday and I have nothing to show for it. This fact has gotten me down the past few weeks.

I've recently sent for Admission Applications for several film schools. New York, Florida, Chicago. Just to name a few. But while looking at film schools online, I started thinking about the people in my life. I don't want to leave them. Then I started thinking of them as the distractions to my big picture. And this job hunt I've been on for a number of months isn't helping either. No job means no money. No money means no way to pay for school. And to top it all off, I've recently, to put it politely, "hit it off" with a girl I've had major feelings for since I met her. Now, I'm not a fan of relationships at all. I like being single and I don't understand why people settle down when they are young, but this girl is, more or less, the girl of my dreams. She's beautiful, funny, smart, fun to be around, she smells good all the time (what? I don't know. I just wanted more adjectives in here), her tastes in movies and music are strikingly similar to mine, and she's just all around awesome. I think she is perfect. But again, this is a distraction from my big picture and I do not want to settle down in any way, shape, or form. So as of now, my eye is on the prize. I'm not letting anything distract me from achieving my goal. Film school is calling me and I intend to answer.

So when it comes to you and your big picture, just remember that its ok to be distracted here and there. Just make sure that you try your hardest to achieve that goal. And don't get lost in those distractions.