Stand Up Comedy

So, no greeting on this post. I wanna write this while it is still fresh in my mind.

Since I was 17 years old, I have wanted to try Stand Up comedy. I'm 21 now and I finally performed. How did it go? I'll tell you...

It was AMAZING! I got bigger laughs than I thought I would get. I mean, I thought I'd get some decent sized laughs, but they were laughing pretty hard. I'm still riding the "center of attention" high that I got earlier tonight.

I performed at the Acme Comedy club in Minneapolis. They have Open Mic on Monday nights and it is free to watch. You have to get there pretty early to sign up. Sign up is at 6 pm and the show starts at 8 pm. So yeah, pretty early is a good description. So, I get there around 5:30 and wait at the bar til sign up. Around 6, people start flooding in. By "people", I mean other Comedians. And in my head, I was like "Oh boy, these people are WAY funnier than I am". I'll admit, I was a little intimidated. Then the sign up sheet came out and I signed up. Now, I didn't know that not everybody would be able to take the stage. Some people wouldn't be able to go on because there's not enough time to get everyone on stage. But thankfully, I made the list.

So, I take my seat in the comedy club and wait for my name to be called. I'm the 4th person up, so I have a little bit of time to wait. Then my name is called. BUT the announcer didn't say my last name. The announcer said "Ryan J." How dare he not even attempt to say my last name. But that's ok. I really don't mind. So, I get up on stage and take the mic and start in on my first joke.

Now, my jokes aren't really punchline jokes. I tell stories. I'm a story teller. A funny story teller. But my first joke is sort of a punchline joke. I list off some of my favorite words. Then I say one of my favorite words is sometimes thought of as a "gay" word. If you say this word, you're a cock sucker. You like dick in your mouth, in your butt, or maybe you like dicks on your dick. A gay word. But I don't think this word is a gay word at all. And the word in question is (throwing glitter in the air) FABULOUS. I got huge laughs with this joke. The I went on the say I am a huge movie fan. I asked the audience if they could guess what TYPE of movie I love the most. Someone in the audience yelled "Gay Porn?!". I replied, "Close. Musicals." Huge laughs from the audience again. Then I said that I loved musicals so much, I wished my life was a musical. But I don't want it to just be during big emotional moments. I want it to be during mundane moments. Then I proceeded to sing songs about sitting in a drive-thru line and about pumping gas. Again, laughter from the audience. Not as big, but hey, I can't spit gold all the time. Then I started talking about a weird embarrassing thing I do sometimes on accident. It's something I call "Dinosaur Arms". It's where if I'm standing around, not doing anything, my arms will go to my sides like a T-Rex and I won't even realize it sometimes. I then demonstrated this and got some pretty big laughs. But then the red light came on and I had to get off the stage. I couldn't even finish the joke. Oh well. Next time.

But the best part was that after my set, a bunch of comedians commented on the glitter that was on the stage and they commented on my joke. MY JOKE WAS ON THE LIPS OF SEVERAL COMEDIANS! That was the highlight of my night I think.

So there you have it. The story of my first attempt at stand up. And you can bet that I am going to be doing it again and again and again. Come out and watch. Acme Comedy Club on Monday Night. And other places in Minneapolis. Just search Open Mic Comedy in Minneapolis on Google and chances are, you'll see me there.